Quell The Burn
by xxTurtlezRockxx
Summary: What to do when the dangerous allure of cross dressing has captured you and made an attempt to give you a homemade vasectomy? Quell the burn, of course. Edited version of Allen Does A Split.


Allen Does a Split

All this bullshit started when I decided to be fucking retarded. The one day I decide to act like a damn retard, the one day! Kanda just has to be there to see it. Why? Why me? I think I should explain this; I really just have to explain what happened. So I can tell you how exactly I got under Kanda with him fondling me and kissing my neck. You have to know the whole thing to understand my situation. I really mean the whole thing, though I'd like cut out my whole cross-dressing fetish that had in a freakish moment of insanity. But I just have to tell you the entire thing.

It started with me walking over to Lenalee's room and knocking on it. I did this because I wanted her to tell me why I had so much damn paperwork. Not in those words though, Komui would most likely rip off my face with toothpicks if he got wind of that sort of thing. I knocked loudly pushing away the my shudders at the thought but Lenalee didn't answer. I decided, like the idiot I truly am to open the door because really the worst thing that could happen was me seeing Lenalee in some state of undress. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought and opened the door hesitantly.

Inside there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Lenalee wasn't sprawled on the bed naked with her legs spread eagle. It was safe in there. Whew. I walked in thinking that I'd leave her a letter. I saw no writing tools on her desk or bedside table. I searched thoroughly and I was just about ready to leave when I remembered Lenalee's closet. I walked back to it, almost skipping in sheer delight. I mean, what else would a girl keep in her closet, I'd thought naively. If only I'd known. I opened the door and scanned the contents, getting more and more disappointed. I was about to close the door when something silver and blue caught my eye. I opened it back up and took the object of my attention off of the hanger. It was a small long sleeved spandex shirt and a very short mini-skirt. I could totally see why they were called mini-skirts. On the front of the shirt it said Angel in large scrawling print. I don't know what came over me but before I even realized it, I was taking off my clothing.

I then replaced it with Lenalee's clothing and the shirt only made it up to my midriff and the skirt was showing more leg than not. I looked into the large mirror on the back of the room and I was overwhelmed by my gorgeous body. Well, yes, I was flat chested, but I had fabulous curves.

I looked at the black glitter that shimmered on the skirt as I twirled to adore myself. But… my hair. I couldn't leave my hair like that, no, it just didn't suit Lenalee's outfit. It just didn't do my appearance justice. I went over to the vanity and opened the drawer to search for those little hair clips that Lenalee always had on. I found a few, some pretty sparkling blue ones. I also found a comb and parted my hair to the right perfectly. I took those little, barrettes, I think they were called and I gave myself two little high ponytails. I combed out my bangs and found that they rested on my face even more perfectly than usual. I was quite the sexy woman. I looked at some lip gloss resting on the bedside table and wiped it clean on her bed. Then I pursed my lips to apply it and the strawberry smell assaulted my nostrils.

I looked at my pale, soft cheeks and felt the need for some blush. I searched around and found it then ghosted it onto my cheeks. I outlined my eyes in dark smoky eyeliner then put on some lash-lengthening mascara. My eyes seemed to double in size, they looked innocent and yet, so lusty. I took some glitter off my -when had it become mine, I wonder?- skirt and dabbed my right cheekbone with it. My high cheekbone glittered slightly, shining ebony black and cobalt blue. I found a nail polish bottle that was half empty and opened it up only find out it was a glittery black. But did that stop me? No, I put it on and suddenly realized why a girl's right hand always looks like crap. I let my nails dry then because I actually did do a half decent job then I painted my toes the same shade. Then when they finished drying I found some very strappy heels. I got them on and they reached to the top of my calf. God. I was so hot, that I was turning myself on.

Hmmm… I just might be gay for myself. Yeah, that would totally be hot. Two of me? Fucking one another? Yummmmm… You're sexy Allen. Very sexy. I should go show off my sexy. That's how I justified myself as I walked into the hallways of the Black Order showing off my hot body. I walked down the stairs and stumbled forward a little but caught my balance by throwing myself out into a cartwheel. It wasn't like I hadn't done one before but this had... an infectious flavor to it. Addictive, you could say. I did flips and somersaults and all sorts of things. Then in a throe of passion, just 'cause I was feeling invincible, I did a spilt.

"Godammit! My cock!" Several members of the Black Order turned to look at me. I grabbed my dick through my skirt in pain. Strong arms wrapped around me and lifted me up into a standing position. "Godammit! My fucking dick! Ahh! Fuck, fuck, and FUCK! I'll never be able to have children now!" Kanda looked at me as I cringed in agony.

"What's so good about kids?" Kanda said, seeming annoyed. Never mind, that's his normal face. Excuse the mistake. I grabbed Kanda's shoulders and screamed, "My DICK, my HOLY LAND, my AWESOME COCK! Is in the fucking pits of HELL! Why are you talking about kids?"

Kanda grabbed my hand, bending it back as I cringed in even more pain and tried to make me walk with him. Then seeing that I was in no condition to walk, he carried me to his room. He was carrying me bridal style and he held me as if he was actually affectionate towards me. I didn't really notice though, seeing as I was clutching my balls with a vice grip, which probably wasn't the best idea. Kanda put a hand on the one grabbing my cock and I looked at him in curiosity. He moved my hand and stroked me through the shorts of my skirt. I bucked my hips slightly and decided it wouldn't make me gay to enjoy it a little.

Kanda never once looked at me and allowed to grind into his hand. I was so absorbed in the wonders of his glorious hand that I didn't notice we were in Kanda's room until he dropped me on his bed. I looked up in surprise but he descended onto me quickly pinning me down. This is how I got into the position I'm in now. Kanda lying over me, grunting in pleasure and kissing me deeply. He smiled over my lips and palmed my crotch. I thrust my hips upward and cried out in my intense pleasure. He pulled my skirt over my hips rubbed his fingers over the trail of my pelvis. He raised himself over me and kissed me while whispering, "Does your cock still hurt? Is it still burning in the pits of hell?" He suddenly just pulled my skirt off completely and my cock jumped up to meet him.

Kanda wrapped a hand firmly around my cock. I cried out then Kanda stopped pumping, "No, I need to hear it in words."

He released me from his blessedly tight grip and I pushed my hips up searching for friction. He ignored me completely and begins to put my skirt back on me.

"No!" I yelled.

"No?" Kanda tilted his head to the side with an uncharacteristically cute look on his face.

"No what, Moyashi?" He said curiously. My face contorted in a constipated expression. "I…I …I…" Kanda smirked.

"You what?" His hand inched up my leg. "I want your…" Kanda hummed his approval softly. "I want your hand on my cock." I said in a rush.

Kanda smirked smugly. He didn't waste time giving me my requested hand job. He pumped me slowly and let me meet his hand with every pump. I thrust my hips upward faster, successfully speeding up our pace. Kanda got up onto his knees, hand still on my cock and fondled my balls possessively. He kissed me and I opened my mouth willingly as his hands did such sinful things to my body. I'm definitely going to hell but at least I got a good hand job out it. Fire coiled in my stomach in anticipation of my soon coming orgasm. Kanda worked his hand over me furiously and I couldn't hold out much longer, I bucked my hips and wrapped my arms around Kanda's shoulders deepening our already intense kiss.

Kanda dominated me in the kiss and I could feel his arousal pressing into my thigh, and if possible I think that's exactly what pushed me off of the quickly approaching edge. Kanda's cock made me cum just by rubbing up on my leg. Jesus, I've got no self control. But in my defense it was a monster of a cock. Fucking huge. I cried out and my cum coated Kanda's hand as I jerked uncontrollably. Kanda never once stopped kissing me and he devoured my screams with a hungry passion that I reveled in.

"Does it still ache, Moyashi?" Kanda whispered in my ear, dragging his teeth around the sensitive shell, waiting for my answer. His voice was deep and husky and the last dying waves of my orgasm suddenly spiked up and I came in Kanda's hand again.

"I'll take that as a no then?" Kanda asked looking at me with an annoyed expression. My bad once more. That was, once again, his normal expression. He got off my and wiped my cum off on his pant leg and went to the bathroom connected to his bedroom.

"Don't think that was for you or anything, Moyashi. I just didn't want you bitching in my ear about how bad your dick hurts." Kanda said monotonously over his shoulder before closing the bathroom door. He came out only moments later, wrinkling his nose at his hands.

"I washed them but the smell won't come off." Kanda said in disgust.

I stretched and said almost awkwardly, "Did you want me to…?"

Kanda snorted, "Ha, Moyashi! It will be a really fucking cold day in hell before I can get off on you."

I furrowed my brow in displeasure, "Whatever you say, Kanda." I bent over the edge the to look for my skirt. My head whipped back up as Kanda placed both hands on my ass.

"Damn Moyashi! You've got an ass like a baby!"

I glared at him, "That's not a good way to get my smell off you."

He ignored me and kept feeling up my ass, "No, but really Moyashi! I should get you some shorts that say bootylicious and have you stand in front of a gay bar!"

I blushed, "Fuck you, Kanda!" Even though it was actually quite flattering, I shot him the bird and scowled.

Kanda smirked, "Would you? Really? I don't have any lube but I guess it's your dick not mine and you did just cum. I guess it could work." I blushed deeply and spotted my skirt and quickly grabbed it. I jumped off the bed and slid the skirt then noticed the whole time Kanda had been giving me a hand job, my shoes had still been on.

"So what's up with the new look, Moyashi?" Kanda said with a smirk.

"You know, I don't really care about your crap, BaKanda. I feel so damn pretty, Kanda. A feeling you will never have!" I walked out the room, aware of myself as the sexy bootylicious man that I never knew I was.

As I marched past Lenalee's room, she peeked out the doorway. She shook her and locked her door. Once back in bed, Lenalee said to Lavi, "Allen's wearing my cheerleading outfit." Lavi sighed and rolled on top of her, "Are you really surprised?"


End file.
